This week is Stalking Awareness Week (Monday 20 April – Sunday 26 April). To help raise awareness of the dangers of stalking, Compass (a partnership of domestic abuse services providing a response in Essex) have shared a case study of how they came to support one of their users (names have been changed to protect identity).
Stalking after a relationship has ended is when a former partner engages in a pattern of fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviour that causes fear or distress.
It can include anything from non-stop calls and text messages, unwanted gifts, monitoring you online, turning up at your home or workplace, following you, damaging your property, or using friends, children or family members to make contact.
The beginning
Hayley first met Zac on Tinder, “he seemed so nice, I had no hesitation in wanting to meet him,” she said. Her first date was enjoyable, and they ended up meeting a couple of times after, however she felt he was becoming intense, talking about the future and living together.
Hayley told Zac she would be travelling to London. During her trip, Zac bombarded her with calls and messages, prompting Hayley to distance herself from him. When Hayley returned home, Zac was waiting for her at the train station with a bunch of flowers, this concerned Hayley as she had not mentioned which train she would be catching. Hayley immediately ended their two-week relationship and said “I thought that would be it, but my nightmare had just begun”.
What came next
Over the next six months, Zac infiltrated Hayley’s social media accounts. She closed her personal social media pages, but he targeted her business profiles, where she had worked hard to build a following. She blocked Zac, but he made fake accounts and new profiles. He repeatedly contacted her, posing as clients, and added negative reviews about her service, causing a loss of business that impacted her finances. Zac then began contacting Hayley’s family and friends with fabricated stories. Hayley felt alone, fearful and sick with worry, not knowing what to do or where to turn. She reported the incidents to the police, but it was challenging to describe her experience, having deleted most of the messages, she did not have much evidence.
Reaching out for help
Hayley reached out to Compass, who put her in touch with Olivia from Changing Pathways. Olivia is an Independent Stalking Advocacy Case Worker (ISAC) and supported Hayley throughout her journey, explaining all options that were available to her. It was such a relief for Hayley to be heard and believed; she no longer felt alone.
Olivia completed a safety plan with Hayley, which included how to protect herself online. She provided emotional support and also helped her work with the police to gain a stalking protection order (SPO). Hayley is now gradually rebuilding her beauty business and beginning to see light through the darkness.
How to get support
If you, or someone you know are being stalked by a former partner, help is available with Compass, simply call 0330 333 7 444 or visit their website for assistance.